Friday, April 29, 2016

Dope Springs Eternal

Here's the stunning problem with The CHB's column on the Celtics today: He whines that the Celtics' loss to the Hawks in round 1 of the NBA Playoffs last night demonstrated their lack of talent, while conveniently ignoring that two of their top three players were out for effectively the entire season.

Question: Have the Celtics progressed enough in the 3 years under Stevens? The CHB answers his own question: Wins have risen from 25 to 40 to 48. That's a 23 game swing. The next best positive gain in that time frame? Milwaukee, with 10. The C's finished with the 7th best record overall in the NBA. Could anyone have seen that two years ago? Of course not. Would you have been pleased if, two years ago, you were guaranteed a 48 win season by now? Of course you would.

What The CHB seems to forget is that to actually, you know, win a championship, you first have to make the playoffs. So while he's extolling the virtues of the Timberwolves, which he has been doing on the radio for some time, let's remember that the Wolves, with Wiggins, Rubio and Townes, won a total of 29 games this year. They are about as far from the playoffs as The CHB is from getting laid by a woman.

It's a talent league, and the C's don't have enough talent. But truthfully, neither do the Thunder with Durant and Westbrook, or the Clippers with Paul and Griffin. The Bulls have two players -- Butler and Rose -- better than anyone on the Celtics, and didn't even make the playoff. So why insinuate Celtics coach Brad Stevens isn't up to the task, except to be contrarian?

More memory problems. Wasn't The CHB just saying "Our winter sports teams are good again. There will be playoffs and it might not be as bad and bloody as we once feared. ... [T]he local sports landscape is brighter today"?

Answering The Obvious Questton

Dan Shaughnessy Watch, March 10, 2016:
In true Shank Shaughnessy fashion, he will bury both of these teams once they're eliminated from the playoffs.
Again, not a very tough call, was it? According to a commenter, this column went up within an hour of the final whistle:
Done. Finis. Over. O-va. The end.

The not-so-great Atlanta Hawks put the Celtics out of their playoff misery Thursday night at the Garden, beating the wobbly, wounded, and overwhelmed Green Team, 104-92, in Game 6 of their first-round Rock Fight.

The season bled out on the parquet floor in the same ugly fashion that stamped the entire series: The Celtics couldn’t make a shot (36.2 percent), the more-talented Hawks flexed their muscles and built a 28-point lead, and Brad Stevens was forced to deploy patchwork lineups that had virtually no chance of succeeding.

“We’ve got to get a lot better, that’s pretty evident,’’ said Stevens. “It’s a sour ending to an otherwise really good season.’’
From there, he questions the coach, tells us about a Celtics game played fifty years ago and gives us the standard game recap, all of which he can rehash on the radio next week.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Asking The Obvious Question

The 2014 - 2015 Boston Celtics finish their season with a game 6 loss to the Atlanta Hawks in the first round of the playoffs as of about ten minutes ago.

How soon does Shank bury this team? Is he working on the column as we speak?

Don't Get Mad - Get Even!

That's what Curt Schilling did last week when Shank went on Mike Felger's show on Comcast Sports New England to talk about his firing from ESPN:
"He got what he was asking for, and I don't have a lot of sympathy for him right now," said Shaughnessy, with whom Schilling has feuded from almost the day the pitcher arrived in Boston. "I'm just going to miss him. He's good on TV."

Didn't take long for Schilling to respond . . .
I want to know who's #1 in your book, Curt!

But wait - there's more!

And then he added a comment on CSN's Facebook page, under a link to the video . . .

“Don't need the advice of a bitter human who only remains relevant because of that coif and his desire to take opposing views, regardless of their factual truths. CHB was irrelevant the day we won game 4 and the World Series, ending something he made a career out of inventing, the "Curse". It was a curse of talent, nothing else. People like this need a boogeyman to create content, original thought escapes them”
Then, this one out of deep right field:
You could accuse Felger of a lot of things; a lack of knowledge is not one of them. This looks like a shot at Felger inviting Shank on for the express / implied purpose of Schilling bashing, knowing full well Shank would deliver. In that case, the charge of douche is correct. Not like Felger gives a rat's ass either way...

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

A Tale Of Two Games

The Boston Red Sox won last night in Atlanta, as David Price pitched 8 innings and struck out fourteen batters in his (and The Sox's) most convincing win of the season to date.

The Boston Celtics lost last night in Atlanta, after trailing at halftime, turning the ball over ten times in the third quarter, the Atlanta Hawks looking like the 1994 Chicago Bulls in that same quarter and got run out of the building, now facing elimination from the NBA playoffs. When human pylon Kris Humphries hits back to back three point shots on you, it's game over, man!

Would anyone care to guess which of these games Shank decided to write about? If you guessed the Red Sox, you must be new around here:
ATLANTA — How do you explain this Celtics-Hawks series?

You don’t. Just roll with it, wait for the next game, and hope your team does better.

The Celtics led the Hawks by 10 points in the second quarter of a pivotal Game 5 at Philips Arena on Tuesday night. Sweet, right? On the heels of sweeping two games in Boston it looked like the Celtics might break the Hawks’ spirit, take a 3-2 series lead, and wrap things up at the Garden on Thursday.

No. The Hawks demolished the Green Team in the third quarter, ran out to a 33-point lead, and took Game 5, 110-83, to put the Celtics on the brink of elimination.

The Celtics and Hawks are working hard and leaving it all out there on the court, but this series might set basketball back to the pre-shot clock era of the 1950s. We have two starless teams bumping into one another, with the series winner appropriately earning a four-night, all-expenses paid trip to . . . Cleveland.
Not if Indiana or Charlotte manage to win two games - lowest seed plays the highest seed, Shank!

Then again, four nights in Cleveland would be punishment enough - tank the series!
The Hawks seemed similarly rattled. Jeff Teague’s mind-numbing failure to execute (after two timeouts) in the final 15 seconds of regulation was a gaffe of epic proportion. Had a Boston player blown a game in such fashion, it would have dominated all sport media for the ensuing two days.
And we all know who would be leading that charge, don't we?
There was actually little of anything early Tuesday night. Despite a pregame video presentation that includes a voice claiming Atlanta has “the loudest fans in the NBA” the New England Revolution generate more buzz in Boston than the Hawks do in Atlanta.
Shank sure hates sports teams owned by Robert Kraft, doesn't he?

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

CHB Slinks While Porcello 'Springs'

Remember how Shank was going on and on about how the Red Sox performance in spring training didn't bode well for the regular season?

In particular, remember what he said about Rick Porcello, one of the "Meatball Five"?

Well after Porcello's sterling 6.1 innings of shutout ball last night, here are his numbers to date this season:

GP  IP      H    B   K   W  L   WHIP  ERA
4    25.2    19   5   30   4   0    0.94     3.51


Not too shabby. 

Anyone (else) remember what was said during spring training? 

Anyone else care? Because The CHB certainly has clammed up.

Monday, April 25, 2016

Happy Days Are Here Again! - II

You just knew Shank was going to bang out a column about this...
Bottom line: The Patriots were doing it. They had a system of deflating footballs after the balls were inspected by officials. Any agenda-less person who reads the Wells Report would come away with no other conclusion. The texts were unexplainable.
There is simply no evidence whatsoever to support this paragraph. When the Wells Report needs to state it was 'more likely than not' Tom Brady was involved in the deflating of footballs (as opposed to the higher legal standard of 'beyond a reasonable doubt), it brings, well, reasonable doubt about the whole Wells Report.

Happy Days Are Here Again!

Shank seems quite pleased with the reinstatement of Tom Brady's four game suspension:

No word yet on a Brady appeal of this ruling.

Saturday, April 23, 2016


Unable to criticize and second guess the Red Sox and Celtics due to their wins yesterday, Shank instead subjects us to the Dreaded Picked Up Pieces column.
Young (Jacob) Eason is the most highly touted Georgia QB recruit since Matthew Stafford. Eason’s dad is, in fact, Tony Eason, but he is NOT the Tony Eason who played quarterback for the Patriots and had to be pulled from New England’s first Super Bowl vs. the Bears in New Orleans. The Tony Eason who is Jacob’s dad played football at Notre Dame.

While we are on the topic of high school athletes from the state of Washington, let it be known that both Jon Lester and Avery Bradley are graduates of Bellarmine Prep in Tacoma.
The Red Sox only have eight home games in September.
Dan Shaughnessy - the Globe's answer to Cliff Clavin.

Friday, April 22, 2016

Rehash Radio - VIII

The first fifteen minutes of his appearance were a near word for word recitation of this column.